An Open Letter to an Abusive Husband
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An Open Letter to an Abusive Husband

Abuser,

I am sorry that our marriage was not what you pictured. I have always been honest with you.

My name is Amber.
I live with an incurable disease.

You often stated that you wanted to marry Amber and not Addison’s. However, you cannot have one without the other. They are intricately intertwined.

I can honestly state that I gave our marriage my absolute best. When I learn to do better, I strive to do better. I have spent the past three years working with my cortisol pump to manage my disease.

But notice how I use the word manage, and not cure?

There is no cure for Addison’s Disease.

The flares of this disease are triggered by stress. We have had a bit of stress during these three years, have we not? Let us do a quick recap:

  • We moved internationally three days after getting married.
  • I was the only one employed during the first eight months of marriage.
  • Five months into your employment, you stated that you cannot live in Texas. You needed to leave. I said find another job and I shall follow you wherever you lead.
  • You found a job in Nevada.
  • You lost that job in Nevada.
  • You still move, unemployed.
  • I join you in Nevada, three months later, while you are still unemployed.
  • I started working, shortly after moving to Nevada.
  • Through my networking, you are gifted a job.
  • We purchased a house.
  • You immediately moved into that house and required me to remain at the apartment forty-five minutes away for an additional five months.
  • On the day that I moved into the house, you inform me that you are done, burnt out, and cannot continue on with our marriage. You told me that I needed to leave.

Let us consider the fact that I do not have working adrenal glands. I handled each one of these situations to the best of my ability. When it becomes clear that my best shall never be good enough for you, it is time for me to cut my losses and and for us to go our separate paths.

Do not worry about me. I have weathered much tougher storms. The fact that Addison’s Disease has not killed me gives a testament to how much I can survive.

But I shall not merely survive.

I am Clearly Alive.

A Note to Readers

Dear Readers, I want to let you know that I am safe and free. I have escaped. I would not have been able to accomplish that without the incredible support of my family and friends.

If you are in an abusive relationship, know that you can get out. There are resources available to you, and many stories of encouragement from survivors.

Do not be afraid to seek help.

Also, know that abuse escalates. Often, it escalates rapidly.

I would like for all of us to remain Clearly Alive.