A Decade of Recaps!

It seems crazy to think that not only is my blog now over a decade old, I have also done a full ten years of recaps! I thought it would be fun for those that have been a part of the Clearly Alive family for a while to do a post highlighting the last decade. If I was required to summarize each year into a single thing – what would it be?

2013: The Nightmare Crisis

In April of 2013, I had my “Nightmare Crisis.” My health had been growing unstable for quite a while, but it finally reached a point where I could not hide it anymore. That was the year that my mom moved back in with me for several months as we went from specialist to specialist trying to piece together what happened. In the end, we realized that I was poisoned by my generic hydrocortisone containing Sodium Lauryl Sulfate. I went public with my reaction and I am pleased to announce that in the year 2023, all generic hydrocortisone containing Sodium Lauryl Sulfate (SLS) have been puled from the market. VICTORY.

2014: Living In Malaysia

February of 2014, I gained access to my first cortisol pump. This was a life changing piece of medical equipment that I had to largely figure out on my own with the support of other cortisol pumpers. One month after receiving my cortisol pump, I got married and moved to Malaysia for a 6 month work assignment. While the photos attempted to show a happy newly married couple traveling the world, the reality of the situation was drastically different.

2015: My Brother’s Wedding

In 2015, my husband at the time and I had returned to Dallas to continue working. We had talked about settling down and purchasing a house, but he had other plans. However a highlight of 2015 was my brother’s wedding in August.

2016: The Move to Nevada

At the beginning of 2016, I was forced to quit my job and move to Nevada while pretending that my husband at the time had this brilliant career (… He had no job… ). I was able to land employment rather quickly (after all, I’m a good engineer) and through my networking he was gifted a pity job. Towards the end of the year, he forced me into a home purchase that I did not approve, but I was not allowed to say no. After he had gotten his house, his job, and his dog, his abuse towards me began to escalate rapidly.

2017: The Divorce

Towards the beginning of 2017, I began to realize that there was no hope for my marriage. In early March, my husband at the time crossed a boundary to which there was no recovery path. Although he had been threatening to divorce me for several months, it was I who initiated the paperwork. Those few months during which I was attempting to regain my freedom were terrifying. Looking back, I realize that I’m one of the “lucky ones.” My divorce only took two months. That’s short and I had the support of my family and friends. Additionally, although I had to abandon a majority of my possessions and disappear on the other side of the country, I had a well respected career to fall back on. While I was going through the divorce, I had no idea how I would survive. Now, it feels like such a small footnote in the grand scheme that is my life.

2018: The Purchase of a Town-home

In 2018, I felt stable enough in my career to purchase a new construction town home. This was an important step in my healing journey, as I was reclaiming my independence and my individual identity. I began to make friends, grew more respected in my field, and it was starting to feel like I could breath again. I even became a Licensed Professional Engineer after passing an 8 hour written exam!

2019: The Work Trip to China

2019 was a wild ride. I had the honor of speaking at a conference for Adrenal Insufficiency only a few days before I headed off on a work trip to Suzhou, China. That year I also went to Austin, TX for another conference and San Antonio, TX to work at the NFPA Expo. I was even scheduled to be a keynote speaker at another conference for rare diseases, however a diagnosis of mono stopped those plans quickly. After my mom took the keynote spot (and did amazing!) she moved in with me for a few months as I slowly recovered from mono.

2020: The Birth of my Niece

Ah 2020. The year that the entire world changed. I am very thankful that I was able to spend the COVID lock-downs with my mom in my town home. I also used the work from home mandate to dye my hair purple, a dream that I had since a child. But the best thing that happened in 2020 was the birth of my niece.

2021: The Relocation for my Job

At the end of 2020, I was informed that my work site was shutting down and my engineering lab was being relocated over an hour away in another part of the state. They offered me a relocation package to move, and I jumped on it. I sold my town home and purchased a massive house at an excellent price point March of 2021 that was only minutes away from my PCP. She allowed me to receive 2-4L of IV saline in her office weekly. After having moved quite frequently since 2014, I thought to myself “This is it. I can finally settle down into this amazing house!”

2022: The Placement of a Port-a-Cath

What an adventure 2022 was. It started out with an unplanned surgery to place a port-a-cath after receiving IV saline in my doctor’s office had become unsustainable (my veins started giving out). Later in the year, I had another unplanned surgery to remove my highly infected tonsils. I also received my Masters in Computational Data Science. But the highlight? My pilot and I decided to officially start a relationship. I have found my partner.

Concluding Thoughts

It is hard to summarize an entire year into just a single paragraph. However, it does give me an opportunity to take a zoomed out look at my life. Moments that seemed insurmountable at the time (my 2013 nightmare crisis, my 2017 divorce from the abuser, my 2022 surgery to get my port-a-cath) now seem like small blips. But I guess that’s the point. As I zoom out and reflect, I am left with only feelings of extreme gratitude and thankfulness. I am Clearly Alive.