In Memoriam of a Trail Blazer

Elesha,

Wow. It feels so weird to type YOUR name. I am alive today because of you. And yet, you are gone.

You and I connected shortly after my Nightmare Crisis in 2013. My body had stopped responding to oral hydrocortisone and I was running out of options. I had always dreamed of receiving a cortisol pump, I just needed an open door.

You were my open door.

You were also an invaluable confident and advocate as I was navigating the journey of medication failing, the start of the cortisol pump, and my move to Malaysia. So much of my understanding of cortisol and its effects on the body come from your mentorship. You were one of the first people in my life to show me how to advocate for a higher quality of life and how to truly LIVE with not fun medical labels.

Do you remember that half marathon we completed together September of 2015? You were showing me how to do the “run/walk” method to pace. My high school cross country training had tricked me into thinking that if I began walking during a race, I was a complete failure.

I will never forget your blunt rebuttal to that, as you were always very matter of fact. You told me that was stupid and wrong. But you also showed me that by listening to your own body and respecting it through incorporating in walking breaks at specific intervals you could go further faster and safer.

Who cares what the world is telling you, especially when the world is wrong.

And the world was wrong about so many things with respect to cortisol.

I remember during one of our chats, I was completely overwhelmed and discouraged. No doctor could determine if I had primary adrenal insufficiency or secondary adrenal insufficiency. The lack of a concrete label was making me doubt my lived experiences.

Once again, as was your nature, you bluntly got to the heart of the matter.

Who cares about the label?

The focus should be on LIVING. I was responding well to treatment on the cortisol pump and I was Clearly Alive. I was so much more than a list of diagnosis codes, and those diagnosis codes did not define me.

I know that your early experiences of living with broken adrenal glands gave you your confidence later in life.

You knew who you were.

And then you made it your mission to empower others to live. You created a ripple effect, focusing on changing just one life at a time.

Clearly Alive Art would not exist today without your actions. Neither would the Theoretical Steroid Curve Plotter. That tool is an extension of the concepts you taught me.

Thank you for living fearlessly and blazing the trail. I will continue on the path, knowing that I am Clearly Alive because of you.

With Much Love,

Elesha’s official obituary can be found here.