An Open Letter to the Pilot

Pilot,

Wow. I never thought I would be here, in this position, publishing an open letter to announce the end of our relationship. You blindsided me with this news. But, at the end of the day, our priorities are incompatible. Therefore, it is in everyone’s best interest to part ways.

Let us talk about priorities for a moment, because I did not realize how misaligned we were until April 22nd, when we had that late night conversation in the hotel room in Las Vegas during your family’s annual vacation.

You told me that because we do not have children, your number one priority is your “nuclear family.” You defined your “nuclear family” as your mom, your dad, your older sibling (who is married with a child), and your younger sibling. Then, you informed me that even if we did share children, I still would not be your priority. The child is your priority. You finished by stating that you trust your younger sibling implicitly and this sibling hates me and never wants to see or speak to me again.

Our priorities are incompatible.

Originally, I had written much more documenting how the next four days played out.  But that did not put you in a very good light. Upon editing this letter I removed the details.  You know them.  I know them.  And we both know that they are not pretty.

Now that the shock has worn off (and we can confidently state that I am still Clearly Alive), I would like to thank you.

You have given me an amazing gift.

Thank you for the gift of freedom. Thank you for releasing me from extreme toxicity and cruelty.

Although this is an unexpected pivot in the journey that is my life, I must say that I am excited for my future. I know who I am. I will continue to prioritize living my life full of empathy, integrity, compassion, curiosity, and wonder.

I am Amber Nicole.

I am free.

I shall soar higher than any pilot ever could take me.

I am Clearly Alive.

A Note to the Readers

The past few months have been rough, and it was questionable for a while if I would survive. I am thankful for my mom, dad, younger brother, and best friend who have been instrumental in keeping me safe and protected. I am also thankful for my amazing medical care team. This extreme stress that I’ve been subjected to has accelerated major breakthroughs in my medical treatment.

My case is more complex than just Addison’s Disease. In fact, the broken adrenal glands are merely one small piece of a much larger puzzle. Through this “trial by fire,” the puzzle has gained clarity.

Additionally, I have only published this open letter after I have removed myself from the Pilot’s life.